Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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