i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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