All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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