I'm going to rape someone's good day.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
