good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
