I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
