Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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