How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
