I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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