I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
