I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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