When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
this will be a night to untag.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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