also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
