dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
