FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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