Do you still have your period?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
