Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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