I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
