I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Randomize