My hand turned me down
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
