Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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