Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
