I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
