i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We are all done wearing pants today
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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