She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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