he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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