A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
