My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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