the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Randomize
