those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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