It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
