You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Why can't burritos get me drunk
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
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