My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
