Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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