my room smells like sperm. sweet.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
