maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
