i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
