dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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