It's like God shit irony all over that family
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize