I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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