Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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