I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So many bounce houses so little time
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
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