she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
