Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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