shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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