it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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