My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Non-Jews are for practice
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
