It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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