my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
