Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
