Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
