can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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