Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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