If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
