Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
