okay pat passed out under dana's car
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
