I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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