And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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