idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
