Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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