That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize