aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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