; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
