i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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