If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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