We won't sleep together?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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