How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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