Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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