I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
