NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
