Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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