I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize