So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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