Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
4 words: hood of his car
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
