I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
They took my balls.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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