My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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